I'm sorry my penis didn't work
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Two words: nipple clamps
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