he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
