you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
