I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
