Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
He did a backflip because drugs
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