Only a mothe r could love this liver
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
