Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
