some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Use "feeling words"
Yay
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
