the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told grandpa to call you daddy
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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