what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Less talking, more tequila
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
