I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
