Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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