i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
