Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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