Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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