last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
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