Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
