Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
