wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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