Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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