there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
