you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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