omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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