What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Randomize
