I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
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