He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
