if i can run in heels then i can drive
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
