I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring me the toilet please
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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