just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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