Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
