my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize