Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
