Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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