Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
