I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
