Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize