It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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