Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize