Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
