I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I'm always down for nudity.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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