oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
