Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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