No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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