If i come over, it means nothing
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
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No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
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I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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