ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
