it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
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