eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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