Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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