38 yer olds are good kisserssss
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
