is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
My nipple is on Facebook.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
