He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
you made out with another girl for some wings
We're too hungover to prance.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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