You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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