I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
