so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
She bit a glass in half.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Randomize
