He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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