last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
