And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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