Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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