The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
