Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Can you repeat that, but with context?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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