Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
