i think i scared a bird with my dick
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Mom said you looked used
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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