I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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